Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Sad and Frustrated

I'm so freakin' sad right now. I was going to wait to take a pregnancy test, but I broke down and took one yesterday. It was a Big Fat Negative. My temps also dropped yesterday. I tried to tell myself that the temp thing was probably due to sleep issues, but it was low again today. Aunt Flo hasn't come for a visit yet, but I am trying to prepare myself mentally for her arrival. Also, my mom passed away six years ago today. I miss her terribly. The combination of missing her and the stress of trying to conceive is almost too much.
I just don't understand why it is so hard for me to get pregnant again. Last year I got pregnant ON THE PILL. Then after that miscarriage, I had one cycle and then got pregnant again. After that miscarriage I had one cycle and then got pregnant again. Do you see the pattern? I was so damn fertile--- now I'm just frustrated. The longer we try to conceive, the harder it is to stay positive.


  1. So sorry, I know how you feel in the sense of being frusterated with each arrival of AF. The 2ww is awful and brings along such anxiety. We do all that we can and it still seems to not be enough.

    Have you ever tried accupuncture? I am going to give it a try, as it seems to be helping the anxiety levels of 2 friends who are TTC again after loss. At this point I ask "what can it hurt"?

    Bless your heart, I can not imagine going through this months disappointment along with the loss of your Mother. I'm so sorry...know that I am thinking of you and sending you huggs.

  2. Jess, is it possible you are too early to get a positive? I don't do well with the urine tests. My ob's have had to do blood tests on me.

    *huge hugs* Praying for a positive for you.

    Also, have you talked to your doc? Any changes in your body that may be delaying TTC?

  3. Jess,I am also so sorry for the loss of your mom. I am also going to pray for peace and healing for you during this anniversary time. *hugs*

  4. That's my biggest fear: at some point, having a hard time getting pregnant. That's the only thing my body seems able to do right, and it scares me to think that it could change.

    I'm so sorry that you got a negative. The waiting part truly does suck.

    I'm also so sorry about your Mom. It must be so hard. No matter how old you are, you still need your mom sometimes. xx

  5. I am sorry you are feeling down, and i wish i had the words to pick you up again, but i don't, so i will just send you tons of love and a great big hug and know that my shoulder is here if you need to lean on it at all.


Due to the nature of this blog, all comments are reviewed before posting. Please let me know if you would like your comment to remain private.