Friday, April 30, 2010


It has been a while since I've written. I started this blog as a way to heal and tell my story. I continued to write because I think trying to conceive is hard, but trying to conceive after a loss is harder. I stopped writing because I found that I was obsessing too much on conceiving. It was almost like I needed to conceive so I wouldn't miss Madelyn so much. Now I realize that I will always miss my baby girl. I will always wonder what if. Today is her one year angelversay. In some ways I can't believe a year has past, but on the other hand, I can barely remember what it felt like to be pregnant with her. While it has gotten easier, I still hurt. We have stopped "trying" for right now. I am focusing on Micah and school. Maybe I'll get pregnant again--- maybe I won't. Either way, I will always have a spot reserved in my heart for Madelyn. I miss you baby girl.


  1. Thinking of you and Madelyn on her Angelversary...

  2. Remembering your sweet baby girl with you. Our children will always be with us...always.

    I hope that you are well and taking a break from being consumed with TTC is a good thing. I can relate to how hard it is post loss, as we just want to feel as if we are moving forward. Not replacing our babies, but adding to our families.

    Glad to know that you are well.


  3. *huge hugs* Thinking of you and your sweet baby girl Jess.

  4. thinking you today and all of your babies, Jess. Happy Mother's Day.


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